At Worship Metal we love to celebrate great music….but what about the terrible albums, those abominations that most great bands seem to have at least one of in their back catalogue? Where’s their moment in the spotlight we ask?
Well here it is, consider this feature a celebration of the bland, the uninspired and the downright shit…..
W.A.S.P – Helldorado (1999)
To be fair, you didn’t even need to listen to this pile of nonsense to know it was going to be bad; Helldorado‘s album title and terrible cover art alone should have had alarm bells ringing straight away.
From the title track, to absolute mince like “Don’t Cry (Just Suck)” and “Dirty Balls” this is Blackie and co. trying (and failing) to relive the bands Sunset Strip glory days by being as obnoxious as possible.
Poor song writing, dialled-in performances and a tinny production combines to make Helldorado the worst album of W.A.S.P‘s career.
What you should be listening to: The Crimson Idol (1992) and The Headless Children (1989) would be a good start!
Danzig – 5 Blackacidevil (1996)
Without doubt, the first four Danzig releases are imperious bluesy doom-driven heavy metal albums that have stood the test of time. However, by 1996, not only had ‘Fonzig’s band mates changed but so too had his sound.
Now he was pedalling some sort of second rate NIN style industrial twaddle and the use of effects over his vocals, for most of the songs, completely robbed them of all their power.
Credit where credit is due though, Danzig have rarely raged as hard as they did on “7th House” while “Come To Silver” was a doomy ballad that proved they still had it in ’em to write a cracking tune. The rest of the songs though, have our hero trying to reinvent himself as some sort of sexy, goth imp ……and failing badly!
What you should be listening to: Like we said, the first four Danzig albums (Danzig, Danzig II: Lucifuge, Danzig III: How the Gods Kill, Danzig 4) are imperious.
Sepultura – Roots (1996)
After each of their previous three albums (Beneath The Remains, Arise, Chaos A.D.) had seen Sepultura enjoy increasing success, the mainstream was seemingly theirs for the taking by the time 1996 rolled around.
Being 1996, the only way bands believed they could break through was to embrace nu-fucking-metal and Roots warning signs were writ large when nu metal guru Ross Robinson was announced as producer.
Unsurprisingly, Roots sounds like every other fucking Ross Robinson album on the market and apart from a few bangers, such as “Roots Bloody Roots” and “Born Stubborn”, this album is full of stodgy, mid-paced, down-tuned songs that are just plain forgettable.
Beneath The Remains and Arise shit all over this.
What you should be listening to: See above.
Fear Factory – Digimortal (2001)
Fear Factory had spent the 90’s in imperious form, embodying the perfect amalgamation of futuristic brains and brawn and becoming pioneers in their field but then came the 21st century and everybody’s favourite bunch of cyber-metallers decided nu metal was the way to go.
Aside from the bouncy “What Will Become”, and singles “Lynchpin” and “Invisible Wounds (Dark Bodies)”, this is not an album that warrants repeat listens. Featuring tired song writing and lacking the potency that made them so good in the first place, Digimortal remains a risible, wet fart of an album and would have seen the band rechristened as Fecal Factory if they’d continued down this path.
Special mention must go to the rap metal idiocy of “Back The Fuck Up” (feat. Cypress Hill‘s B-Real). Sweet holy shit, it’s easily the worst thing Fear Factory ever recorded!
What you should be listening to: Demanufacture (1995) and Obsolete (1998); 90’s classics, the pair of ’em.
Iron Maiden – No Prayer For The Dying (1990)
Coming off the back of the classic Seventh Son Of A Seventh Son, the smart money would have been on Iron Maiden to release another humdinger but instead they foisted this turd of an album upon us.
Until this point, Maiden could always be counted upon to deliver a barnstorming opening number but not so with the flaccid “Tailgunner”, with its weak production and predictability indicating a band left bored and uninspired by their own formula.
Just a glance at the track list confirms what a dull mess this album truly is; from the tired, lumpen songwriting of”Fates Warning”, “Hooks In You” and “Run Silent, Run Deep” to the absolute cack handedness of the unintentionally hilarious “Mother Russia” none of these can be considered ‘prime’ Maiden. That said though, the title track, and despite its poor name “Public Enema Number One”, are signs that Maiden still had it in them to write good songs…..as Fear Of The Dark and, ultimately, Brave New World would eventually go on to prove!
What you should be listening to: Take your pick from anything from Maiden‘s debut right through to Seventh Son of a Seventh Son…..but you knew that already.