At Worship Metal we love to celebrate great music….but what about the terrible albums, those abominations that most great bands seem to have at least one of in their back catalogue? Where’s their moment in the spotlight we ask?
Well here it is, consider this feature a celebration of the bland, the uninspired and the downright shit!
10 Terrible Albums By (Sometimes) Great Bands…..
W.A.S.P. – Helldorado (1999)
To be fair, you didn’t even need to listen to this pile of nonsense to know it was going to be bad; Helldorado‘s album title and terrible cover art alone should have had alarm bells ringing straight away.
From the title track, to absolute mince like “Don’t Cry (Just Suck)” and “Dirty Balls” this is Blackie and co. trying (and failing) to relive the bands Sunset Strip glory days by being as obnoxious as possible.
Poor song writing, dialled-in performances and a tinny production combines to make Helldorado the worst album of W.A.S.P‘s career.
What you should be listening to: The Crimson Idol (1992) and The Headless Children (1989) would be a good start!
Danzig – 5 Blackacidevil (1996)
Without doubt, the first four Danzig releases are imperious bluesy doom-driven heavy metal albums that have stood the test of time. However, by 1996, not only had ‘Fonzig’s band mates changed but so too had his sound.
Now he was pedalling some sort of second rate NIN style industrial twaddle and the use of effects over his vocals, for most of the songs, completely robbed them of all their power.
Credit where credit is due though, Danzig have rarely raged as hard as they did on “7th House” while “Come To Silver” was a doomy ballad that proved they still had it in ’em to write a cracking tune. The rest of the songs though, have our hero trying to reinvent himself as some sort of sexy, goth imp……and failing badly!
What you should be listening to: Like we said, the first four Danzig albums (Danzig, Danzig II: Lucifuge, Danzig III: How the Gods Kill, Danzig 4) are imperious.
Sepultura – Roots (1996)
After each of their previous three albums (Beneath The Remains, Arise, Chaos A.D.) had seen Sepultura enjoy increasing success, the mainstream was seemingly theirs for the taking by the time 1996 rolled around.
Being 1996, the only way bands believed they could break through was to embrace nu-fucking-metal and Roots warning signs were writ large when nu metal guru Ross Robinson was announced as producer.
Unsurprisingly, Roots sounds like every other fucking Ross Robinson album on the market and apart from a few bangers, such as “Roots Bloody Roots” and “Born Stubborn”, this album is full of stodgy, mid-paced, down-tuned songs that are just plain forgettable.
Beneath The Remains and Arise shit all over this.
What you should be listening to: See above.
Fear Factory – Digimortal (2001)
Fear Factory had spent the 90’s in imperious form, embodying the perfect amalgamation of futuristic brains and brawn and becoming pioneers in their field but then came the 21st century and everybody’s favourite bunch of cyber-metallers decided nu metal was the way to go.
Aside from the bouncy “What Will Become”, and singles “Lynchpin” and “Invisible Wounds (Dark Bodies)”, this is not an album that warrants repeat listens. Featuring tired song writing and lacking the potency that made them so good in the first place, Digimortal remains a risible, wet fart of an album and would have seen the band rechristened as Fecal Factory if they’d continued down this path.
Special mention must go to the rap metal idiocy of “Back The Fuck Up” (feat. Cypress Hill’s B-Real). Sweet holy shit, it’s easily the worst thing Fear Factory ever recorded.
What you should be listening to: Demanufacture (1995) and Obsolete (1998); 90’s classics, the pair of ’em.
Iron Maiden – No Prayer For The Dying (1990)
Coming off the back of the classic Seventh Son Of A Seventh Son, the smart money would have been on Iron Maiden to release another humdinger but instead they foisted this turd of an album upon us.
Until now, Maiden could always be counted upon to deliver a barnstorming opening number but not so with the flaccid “Tailgunner”, with its weak production and predictability indicating a band left bored and uninspired by their own formula.
Just a glance at the track list confirms what a dull mess this album truly is; from the tired, lumpen songwriting of”Fates Warning”, “Hooks In You” and “Run Silent, Run Deep” to the absolute cack handedness of the unintentionally hilarious “Mother Russia” none of these can be considered ‘prime’ Maiden. That said though, the title track, and despite its poor name “Public Enema Number One”, are signs that Maiden still had it in them to write good songs…..as Fear Of The Dark and, ultimately, Brave New World would eventually go on to prove!
What you should be listening to: Take your pick from anything from Maiden’s debut to Seventh Son of a Seventh Son…..but you knew that already.
Xentrix – Scourge (1996)
Where do you start with this absolute abomination of an album?
From the bay area inspired thrash of their first two albums, to the Black Album inspired blandness of 1992’s Kin, UK thrashers Xentrix were never the most original sounding of bands but come 1996 – and the death of thrash – everything about Scourge reeked of desperation.
It’s hard to imagine the band themselves having any faith in this material. Throw in a bit of god-awful rapping and some terrible attempts at Pantera style groove metal and you end up with a hodge-podge of shite from a band who’d missed the boat entirely.
What you should be listening to: Xentrix’s Shattered Existence or For Whose Advantage? are worthy UK thrash albums but, perhaps surprisingly, it’s 2019’s comeback album, Bury The Pain, we’d recommend the most!
Machine Head – Catharsis (2018)
Having bravely battled back from their near implosion after the release of the risible and nu-metal inflected Supercharger, Machine Head put out a string of strong albums (Through The Ashes Of Empires, The Blackening, Unto The Locust, Bloodstones and Diamonds) predominantly featuring the rock solid line-up of Dave McClain (Sacred Reich) and Phil Demmel (Vio-lence) that saw them claw back their respectability and credibility.
However, in 2018 Robb Flynn had other plans and bravery / foolishly (delete where applicable) decided that he knew better than his bandmates and that the world wanted to hear him rap again. Funnily enough, the vast majority of us didn’t and neither did we want his Nu Metal faux bravado and boring riffs. Who knows what direction he’ll go in next but chances are it can’t be any worse than this lowest common denominator blandcore.
What you should be listening to: 1994’s debut Burn My Eyes (obviously) and The Blackening (2007) would be good for starters!
Slayer – Diabolus In Musica (1998)
Slayer are a band that could usually be counted on to deliver a massive dose of thrash metal goodness, so needless to say, when Diabolus In Musica dropped into our laps our flabber was well and truly gasted!
Was that hints of alternative metal we could hear? Why, yes it was. Nu metal? Sadly, yes.
For the most part the songwriting – fundamentally the work of the late genius that was Jeff Hanneman – was uncharacteristically tired and hardly to the high standard Slayer usually delivered. Even worse, the band sounded as if they’d gone from being pioneers to mere copyists.
It’s not all bad news though as “Bitter Peace”, “Deaths Head” and “In The Name Of God” are worth a blast every now and again but, for the most part, Slayer’s 8th album was more ‘Boredom In Musica’.
What you should be listening to: Reign In Blood, Hell Awaits, Seasons in the Abyss, South of Heaven….pretty much every other album Slayer ever released!
Megadeth – Super Collider (2013)
It’s a well know fact that Megadeth are shite at doing cover versions (“Anarchy In The UK” is balls, end of story), so when a cover of the Thin Lizzy track “Cold Sweat” is one of the best songs on an album…..you know we’re in trouble!
It’s fair to say that nothing found on Super Collider is as terrible as the aural diarrhoea that was “Crush Em” but at least 1999’s Risk was interesting in parts, unlike the vast majority of uninspired, made for radio drivel that make up this stink-fest of an album.
Super Collider, more like fucking Pooper Collider!
What you should be listening to: Rust In Peace, Peace Sells… but Who’s Buying?, Endgame, Dystopia….anything but Super Collider!
Metallica – St Anger (2003)
There’s no way we could have a list of terrible albums without including this god-awful shit attack of a release.
The question is, where do you start with this fucking abomination?
Is it Lars’ biscuit tin drums?
Can blame be laid at the fact there’s no solos to break up the sheer monotony of most of the music?
Or was it the terrible, self help lyrics that seem to have been penned by a teenager who’s been grounded over the weekend by his parents? Frantic, tick, tick, tock indeed.
Who fucking knows? But the results were abysmal.
In their haste to stay relevant, and by swaying towards the popular trends in metal at the time, this is probably the Metallica album that has aged the worst and to listen to St Anger, from beginning to end, is an endurance test to be attempted by only the strongest or the most idiotic.
The likes of “Dirty Window”, “Purify”, “Some Kind of Monster” etc are easily amongst the worst things Metallica have ever penned and the fact that this utter pish sold several million copies just goes to show that Metallica could probably record their bowel movements and muppets would still buy it (they did, it was called Lulu)!
What you should be listening to: Kill ‘Em All, Ride The Lightning, Master Of Puppets & …And Justice for All, of course!
We’ve finally come to the end of our marathon of mediocrity. Feel free to tell us whether you agree or disagree with our 10 Terrible Albums By (Sometimes) Great Bands in the comments below!